Today, the world of pop culture lost JD Salinger, Howard Zinn and Zelda Rubenstein. In the past two years, pop culture has lost more celebrities than I could possibly list or pay tribute to here. My personal life has been rocked with a number of deaths also. If you are trying to heal or recover from this kind of tragedy, sometimes you just need to simply be emotional for awhile.
To survive and event like this, you have to be able to laugh one minute and burst into tears the next. It’s the only way to recover. Denial will only slow down the process. Crying is good. Even if you can’t cry right away, don’t try to hold the tears back when they are ready to fall. Laughter is good too, even if you feel ashamed of wanting to laugh.
We all know that it is impossible to put into words the pain, shock, sadness and anger that we feel after finding out that a loved one has died (whether they are family, a friend or an idol). The following list is composed of quotes from various sources that I feel are able to put this wave of emotion into words.
“When a pending pain is so big, there is an inner place that a soul will go to keep from breaking. A place where it sits and holds terribly still, an emotional coma that allows our heart a moment of peace so that we can begin to heal. In this place we find a void, where there is no feeling, no up, no down, no sound, no taste.” -Sugarland
“You never think the last time is the last time. You think you have forever, but you don’t.” -Grey’s Anatomy
“We’re meant to lose the people we love. How else would we know how important they are to us?” -The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
“Is it the loss that breaks us or the ‘what ifs?’ Regret is a ghost that haunts. She waits patiently in the shadowy halls of memory. Waiting for a moment to ask her only question, ‘why didn’t you?” -Sugarland
“The old saw that time heals all wounds doesn’t quite wash. Time helps- it’s the only thing that does; it helps you to go on, to live, to laugh, to love- but it doesn’t help you to forget or lessen the tiny stab of pain that remembrance brings.” –Lauren Bacall
I also encourage you to make a playlist of music that fits the emotions you are feeling and reminds you of the person. If you are looking for ideas, here are a few that I think are particularly powerful or meaningful:
“Hallelujah” -Jeff Buckley
“Hear You Me” Jimmy Eat World
“Love Heals” (From the Rent movie soundtrack)
“Bridge Over Troubled Water” -Simon and Garfunkel
“Angel” -Sarah McLachlan
“You’ll Never Walk Alone” (From the musical Carousel)
“To Where You Are” -Josh Groban
“Without You” -Rent
“Borrowed Angels” -Kristin Chenoweth
“Let It Be” -The Beatles
“I’ll Be Seeing You” -Frank Sinatra
“Fix You” -Coldplay
What do you do to help you grieve? Do you have a particular song, quote or movie that helps you begin to heal? Let me know, and may your loved ones rest in peace.
